I’m not going to sugar coat it. It’s all gone a bit wrong. Since moving into the new house my seemingly temporary blip has turned into a full blown collapse. In the last month I have put back on 6 pounds, and have spent most of my days eating ridiculous amounts of chocolate at work and not keeping any track of my calorie intake. Every day I resolve to start again, but then as the day wears on I think that maybe I’ll start again the next day. On top of this my exercise has gone down to zero, given that I no longer walk to work. All in all, the only thing I can really say is still going is the Smoking. Somehow the one aspect of this radical life change that I thought would be impossible is now the one thing that I no longer even have to think about. I could just walk away now and call it a victory, but it doesn’t feel that way.

The worst part about this is that it really shows how hard it is to keep up with this. I had hoped that after five months of healthy eating that the changes would automatically become a permanent fixture, that I would no longer crave the takeaway pizza or the Kit Kat chunky. But I do, and I don’t know if that will ever change. Even if I can kickstart this whole thing, how can I make sure that come the end of the year I don’t just fall back into old habits. I suspect that that will have to wait for further examination, at the moment I just really need to get back on the wagon. The first part of dealing with a problem is to admit to it, as the alcoholics are so fond of telling us, and I think I just did. Whether or not I can move forward from this and get back on track is another matter.